This sport is not just about building your body, what I love most about this sport you cannot see. I discovered this sport three years ago, from a dark place. Miserable in my career, battling an eating disorder I refused to believe I had and consumed by a toxic breakup.
I felt defeated by my own mind every day. I knew something had to change because staying where I was, was sucking the life out of me. It was at this ‘rock bottom’ point that I made myself a promise to set three goals every year. One physical, one mental and one financial. This promise is what lead me to step on stage.
Stepping on stage for the first time, changed my life. It encouraged me to step outside my comfort zone, how to push past my known limits and form a somewhat positive relationship with myself and food. However, this prep was quite aggressive and unhealthy. After this prep, my eating disorder worsened and my headspace gradually deteriorated, there were no after comp goals, no strategic planning and no reverse dieting. I went from being anorexic to binge eating and gaining a lot of body fat. I’m not saying this experience was all bad because I absolutely thrived on the prep itself. My bubbly happy personality really came to light during this time, and I found myself thriving in the weeks leading to the stage.
Almost two years later. I found myself again lost. It was here that I had a quarter-life crisis moment and decided to randomly pack up my life and move 4000km away.
I moved to a place I’d never been, knowing no one and took on a career I knew nothing about. I knew I was resilient and strong, but this massive change affected me more than I thought it would. I began to think I’d lost the girl I had worked so hard to previously become. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I knew how prep had previously made me feel so I endeavoured to do that again, only this time I wanted that feeling to last. I went back to my three promises, and after some info from a girl I met at work, I reached out to Alice.
Little did I know, writing that first email would turn out to be one of the best life-changing decisions I would actually make. Alice simply gets it. She talks real shit and feeds empowerment through reality. None of this fake magic bullshit. She is raw, she is real, she is relatable. She has not only helped me to change my physical body, but most importantly my mental. And this time for real. She took my goals, she ran with them, she was realistic and honest, even when it was hard to hear. She had my back and she was in my corner every step of the way. In these last twelve months, she not only made me a better person, but she made me want to be a better person for myself and to myself.
Stepping on stage this weekend was never about winning, it was always about my health, my headspace and my growth. But upon reflection, I honestly achieved so much more than this. This prep has seen me grow in so many aspects of my life, both physically, mentally and professionally. This prep with Alice changed me. This prep gave me direction, gave me purpose and empowered my inner strength and resilience. This prep challenged my discipline and patience. It challenged me to prioritise myself and my self-belief. This sport isn’t for everyone, but this prep, this stage appearance boosted my confidence, banished my insecurities and helped me to take control of my anxieties. This prep gave me a lot of self-peace and clarity, of which is now blissfully reflecting in all aspects of my life.
Three years ago I found happiness on the stage, but this weekend, I FOUND MYSELF. Because I learnt, life isn’t actually about finding yourself, life genuinely is about creating yourself.
So right now post comp, with the help of my amazing coach, I am living my best life. I am focused on myself, I am falling in love with who I am. I am excited about where I am headed and what’s next to come. I have new goals set, new game plans in action and finally, I am at peace with myself, because I am growing, and I am content with not being content.